Even though I am Colombian and we do not celebrate Thanksgiving, it is one of my favorite holidays. Regardless of what I end up doing that day, it's always an opportunity to reflect and truly appreciate everything that has (or hasn't) happened in the last year. After all, I believe that giving thanks is a way to feel more rooted in the present and, therefore, become happier.
I don't mean to overextend myself, but this morning, as always, regardless of my location (which is currently Charlotte, North Carolina), I started my day by journaling with a cup of coffee. And:
I gave thanks for what has been a crazy, hectic, yet wholesome and life-changing year.
I gave thanks for the woman I have become. Each day, I feel less like the little girl I was until recently and more like the 30-year-old I once feared becoming. I see some marks on my face (I refuse to call them wrinkles), but I still feel that I am gracefully coming into my own, and that's all I care about.
I gave thanks for where I was a year ago (in Brazil on a work trip) and for the horrible anxiety episodes that made me question my whole life and leave my comfort zone, despite it being the hardest, most painful thing I have done.
I gave thanks for the fire I never knew I had within. And I am thankful for how that fire led me to live many lives over the course of these 12 months. I have experienced the highest highs and lowest lows until I found my holy grail: a sense of stability and normalcy.
I gave thanks for the moments in which I thought waiting or timing meant that I lacked strength, skills, and luck. Those moments threatened my sanity because I felt so powerless and stagnant. I felt like everyone else was moving except for me. I felt like my problems would never be solved, like I would have to let go of my dreams. I lived monotonous days in which all I could do was cry and wait. Cry and wait. I don't think I have ever cried as much as I did this year.
I gave thanks (as I always do) for the people who care about me. For the way they believed in me and saw the above mentioned fire when I didn't. For the way they reminded me of my faith. For the way they allowed me to stay at their places, to live in their homes.
I gave thanks for my first apartment and for every morning I get to brew coffee there. I gave thanks for therapy, for getting to spend so much time with my parents and with the people I love.
I gave thanks for my new job, one that challenges me, but one in which I continue to discover more about myself every day.
I gave thanks for every adventure and anecdote. For every situation that once made me curse or cry because, with the gift of perspective, they have become the funniest stories. I love retelling them and turning them into something tangible.
I am thankful for every glimpse of beauty and for every time I liked what I saw in the mirror.
I am thankful for my mentors and everyone who supported me professionally. I am thankful for all the 'yeses' I received after what seemed like an endless streak of 'nos.'
I am thankful for the times I walked the Woodley Park bridge in the springtime, listening to 'Summer Baby,' hyping myself up for more days of waiting, knowing my time was around the corner.
I gave thanks for the moments that made me feel alive: the kisses and hugs, the concerts - some I attended for my younger self, some for the current me. I am thankful for all the people I have met throughout the year, even if briefly.
I am thankful for São Paulo, Nashville, Port of Spain, and Charlotte. For all the things I saw and learned just by walking down unknown streets.
I am thankful for having been able to dance, to get dolled up. For having endless time to do things. For learning how to live on my own and sleep with the lights off without being scared.
I gave thanks for my books, my music.
So much life, so many lessons. Just so much to be thankful for.
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